Cocaine Midget Blues
Okcupid conversation I had tonight. There’s more i might post later.
Guy: what u doing tomorrow night?
Me: probably sleep depending on if its a 13 hour day or not tomorrow
Guy: i was hoping u might want me to come over
Me: what do you have in mind?
Guy: what would u like?
Me: Not having strangers in my house lol
Guy: wanna get a motel ;-)
Me: Only if there’s going to be five midget, cocaine, and a drag queen on each of my arms.
Guy: I’ll get you w/e you want. Do you like anal?
Me: Do you?
I still have her pillow you know. I like to hug it at night. I pretend I’m hugging her head
“
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Adroable Gang Banger Rick from work.
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I made friends with a man with gold teeth tonight.
“Done with you?? Just cus I like your company and want to eat Thai food with you. Nope. I still want to bang you.
Best thing I’ve received via text all week. I was just a little worried he no longer wanted my slice. Yay low self esteem!!!
Why is wine drunk so goddamn great? Cheap gas station wine, 90’s pop and r&b jams, my best friend, her mom, and her moms friend makes a great night. I don’t want it to end. I said sheee-it!!!!
p.s. almost puked on my compute.
Can I just rub my cock all over your face? (what I drunkenly wish I could put my facebook status as.)
No Pity
I will gladly listen to you rant about how much is going wrong with your life if I know you and I’ll try to help you out as best as I can, but when you’re a guy I barely know…. GOSH!! I don’t want to hear about how you hate you’re job and nothing is going to plan in your life. I don’t need to know you’re laying in bed contemplating suicide or how shitty and pointless your day was. As awful as it sounds, I don’t care. These are all very fixable things…. well maybe not the suicide, but strangers really do need to stop telling me how badly they wish they were dead. If you are not happy with how you’re life is going only YOU can fix it. Find a god damn new job, go back to school, travel, or do more exciting things. You know what? A hobby may help. Just leave me alone all you strange strangers.
For the good of the realm!
My friend and I started making this crown last night. We’re adding fur and sticks!
I got this in a very nice message on a dating website.
“A few things about me you might want to know: I am really 6’3, I really have never been married, I never been arrested, I have all my own teeth, I don’t live with my mom and I do have a valid drivers license.”
All qualities my ex doesn’t have.i laughed pretty hard about it.
